Yesterday I spent my morning at WalMart with my three kiddos in tote. Jack was in his back pack as happy as can be, Mia was sitting in the grocery cart with her cute pony tail and sweet smile, and Bailee was tagging along behind me touching everything that had a princess on it! It appeared that we had it all together.
Every old lady that saw me commented on how beautiful my children were or told me their mom story. Little children smiled at my kids. Little old men chuckled as Mia waved hello. I even had a conversation with a woman about making bread in the flour aisle. Overall the shopping experience was a success. I didn't loose anyone, no one had a major meltdown and I was able to find everything on my list.
What people don't realize is that it took over an hour that morning to get out of the house. Bailee woke up cranky. Mia didn't want to eat breakfast. Jack wanted to be held. I was grumpy and short-tempered with the girls. I didn't take a shower. I barely had enough time to look in the mirror. And I honestly did not want to get groceries with 3 kids. I would have rather dropped them off at a daycare somewhere and run my errands alone.
It seems like I have heard comments like these lately... "You're such an amazing mom." "I can't believe you can do that with 3 kids!" "Where do you get your energy?" "Your kids are so lucky to have a mom like you." "I would love to be you."
These are comments made from people that see me in public places with my children all dressed up cute and smiling. People who know me really well and who are in my house on a regular basis don't say these things! They KNOW that I run on little to no sleep, I hardly ever get dressed unless I am leaving the house, I have a crazy life with a crazy daily schedule and my kids are NOT always the sweet little children that wave at you in the grocery store!
Last week before going to church I had a LONG battle with Bailee to wear a certain pair of shoes that matched her dress. She was refusing (that's a mild term) to put them on! After showing her who was boss and spanking her, she caved in and stomped to the van. As soon as we walked into church she was HAPPILY showing off "my new pretty shoes." I could have slapped the girl! Everyone was smiling at her and commenting on how lovely they were. She smiled with such pride. Any one looking on would have thought she was the sweetest little thing, but I was outraged inside! (Of coarse I was smiling, but I wanted to tell everyone the truth behind her morning fit!!!)
I guess I am just trying to say that I appear to have it all together, but don't be so easily fooled! I am just like any other mom out there who is trying to stay sane! The next time someone says "I would love to be you," I might just invite them to stay at my house for a few days to get a taste of reality at the Van Tassel house... it's not as pretty as you might think!
(Just for fun... I took these photos from our yard. I was "outside looking in!")
but through it all, you ARE an awesome mom!
ReplyDeletereally. . . you are!
I love that you are so real and honest! I have a huge admiration for mothers, especially those with multiple children... I honestly cannot imagine parenting even ONE!
ReplyDeleteLet me preface this next subject by writing that I do not feel you need to read a self-help book because of what you write here... I'm throwing this out to you, and anyone else reading this, because this book helped me (someone without children)in my relationship with God. Yes, it's a book geared toward parenting, and I don't usually recommend things like this, especially to busy mothers, because... well.. I'm not a parent and... you are busy! But I ended up reading this particular book because I was told it talks about God's love and relationship with us as his children. I LOVED the book! It's easy to read, not too long, and it's something I would want to read if I were a parent. The book won't answer all your parenting questions and there is no secret formula for raising kids but I love how he interweaves our spiritual relationship with God into a human parenting/relationship role with our children here on earth. I wrote a blurb about it on my blog if you're interested. There is a link to the title of the book too if you want to search and find it cheaper.
http://tracyandrussell.blogspot.com/2010/01/book-i-enjoyed.html
Nicole, you truly are an amazing mom and Godly woman! You do have it all, wonderful husband, 3 beautiful children and a God who loves you just the way you are. Remember, He makes no mistakes. "Momma said there would be days like these...." (now you'll be singing that song all night!). I think we would all agree that our lives can be sometimes appear "rosier" than they are at times but it's what we're doing with our lives that matter. You Go Girl!!! Love ya!
ReplyDeleteSomething I remind myself of OFTEN, is that if these little people were really capable of being reasonable--they'd be capable of living on their own. They're not and that is why they live with me. Mimi (Emilia) (AGE 6!) had a similar fit a few weeks ago before church. I had gotten her a LOVELY Cornelloki (April Cornell) on eBay--these dresses are SO expensive but I got a deal (under $10) since it was gently used, you know the drill. Gorgeous dress. The blue in it was Awesome with her eyes. All she could see was that she thought it was too short and the sleeves were too 'puffy.' Pretty much went the same way as your battle. And now she can see it my way.
ReplyDeleteI think all of us moms are harder on our firstborns. We expect more and then realize later--what were we thinking? She'll get a bit more reasonable. Really.