I have heard so many different women complain about their MIL's and it breaks my heart. Many of those relationships are not healthy and need lots of work, but I would give anything to have Venise back in our lives! If I had the chance to talk with her today this is what I would say...
Dear Venise,
You are truly missed by many, but especially me. I often feel like I am missing something in my life by not having a MIL around. I feel like I wasn't given the chance to get to know you like I wanted to. I hear MANY things from people around us that talk of your wonderful cooking, sewing, singing, craftiness, etc... but I want to hear it from you! I want to watch you cook Thanksgiving for our family and ask you why you always make sweet potato pie. I want to hear you singing sweet hymns while you make blankets and baby clothes. I want to ask you about your best cleaning tips. I want you to teach me how to knit some homemade slippers.
But more than that I want to hear your sweet voice again. I want to hear you call me Nicki (even though I hated being called that) and I want to see my kids run into your arms screaming, "Memere!" I want to see your HUGE smile as you meet them for the first time! I can't even imagine your reaction to our kids... wait, yes I can! You wouldn't be able to contain your joy and tears! I'm sure you would spoil them rotten with cookies and kisses, and teach them all the amazing things that God has shared with you.
You would be an awesome Memere! I don't say that lightly. I really do think that you would be one of the best grandparents a child could ever ask for. Not because you would buy them things or even take them places, but because you would share your heart with them and love them with an unconditional love!
We talk about you a lot and show the kids your picture, but they always think it's Aunt Lara! ;-) They don't understand where heaven is or why you're gone, but they do know that you were one cool lady! We talk about you every time we see a deer or see snow falling for the first time... just a few of your favorite things! I want to instill in my kids the extreme excitement you had for God's creation and simple things in life that we often take for granted!
I wish we had just a few more afternoons together to have tea and chat about your life. I would give anything to sit on your couch for just a few hours and ask you all about Tom's life as a child and what he was like when he was little. I think our kids have some of his qualities, but I want to know details of his childhood. I want to ask you all about how you raised four wonderful kids without losing your mind and how you did it on a teacher's salary. I want to call you on the phone to chat. I want you to call me to chat. I want you to tell me I'm a good mom and that you're proud of us for being Godly parents. I want you to be there when I make a Christmas turkey and tell me that it was too dry. I want you to take our kids for walks so I can have an afternoon alone. I want our kids to sing Happy Birthday to you. I want them to pick flowers out of your garden while you teach them a Bible verse. I want them to see you singing in the church choir. I want them to know you. I want you to know them.
This list seems selfish and it's full of "I wants" but it's the hole I feel because you're not here. I long for that mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship that I know would be so amazing. I want our kids to have that special bond with you that only a Memere and her grandkids could experience. I know not every day would have its "hallmark moments" but I wish we had the chance to make a few more memories together!
I know you're in heaven and wouldn't trade your home there for the world, but we miss you here! We can't wait to see you again!
Love, Nicole
p.s. Your grandchildren are adorable!! :0)
Dear Nicole, You have me bawling! You are absolutely correct about Venise, from all I knew of her. She would have been one of the best grandmothers EVER to your dear little ones! I think it is wonderful for you to express these feelings, and to teach your children all you can about their Memere who is in heaven! You are also, one of the BEST mothers that a child could ever have. You are honoring Venise by all you are doing each and every day, and by being a wonderful wife to her son. God bless you Nicole.
ReplyDelete~Praying for you~
Joanna
You brought tears to my eyes, girl! Venice was a very special lady and your "I wants" are completely understandable. Thanks for sharing your heart.
ReplyDeleteI don't think it's selfish. I know she would have been all that and more--you are right! I kinda know how you feel since my mil started with alzheimer's shortly after Zeke was born. She went to Heaven this past spring but, all that she was, was gone long ago.
ReplyDelete((hugs))
Nicole, thanks for writing about Venise. She would have been a great mother-in-law to you and she would have adored you children! They would have made it Heaven on earth for her if she were still with us.
ReplyDeleteHi Nicole,
ReplyDeleteYou said it all so well. I so enjoyed reading your thoughts about Venise. Hope you shared this w/ Tom. Love the pictures you posted.
I often think of her with all these wonderful grand babies being born the past few years. She would be one very proud Memere and would do all the "I wish.." you mentioned. And am sure she would tell you and others what a wonderful Mommy you are to your children. It is very sad she is not here to enjoy them but as Joanna said, it's so important to honor her the way are by keeping her in your conversations and passing down stories.
Thanks again for sharing your thoughts.
Diane